Alice, this is what you got out of my response? You are so sideways, and making more assumptions than you should.
I was in love with my first wife. She was smart, professional and one year older than me. Initially she did not want children and I accepted that because I was in love with her. We waited five years into the marriage before we had our daughter, who is amazing by the way.
My first wife also had a dark side. Extremely jealous, would physically abuse (hit me) and verbally abuse me. The day she walked out of the house she said “I could never love you the way you love me.” It tore my heart in half.
After all of this I still think of her often.
Have a good day.