The difference between the person in my first marriage and my second could not have been more different.
My first wife grew up in an upper-class environment and as a teen in high school was very smart but rebelled high school and insisted on switching schools. She graduated early and had a somewhat dysfunctional relationship with her parents.
My second wife grew up poor in Poland during communism to a very loving family that worked hard and appreciated everything they had including each other.
In my first marriage, I could not do enough to please her. When we made love it was like her mind was always someplace else. I could be going down on her, or having intercourse it always felt like I was putting in a huge effort to perform in an attempt for her to orgasm. If I would suggest different positions, kiss her feet or ass she thought and verbally said that it was gross. I often felt like a circus animal trying to perform tricks to excite her.
My second wife when we started dating, we took the relationship very slow. There was a lot of teasing and flirting, my wife dressed in sexy outfits, she was excited when we made love, she felt special and appreciated. She often had multiple orgasms during lovemaking. This has changed very little from the time we first started dating to the present day in our marriage. In many ways it’s better and more exciting. We do not go more than three days without loving making of some form. Often it’s my going down on my wife till she has an orgasm.
My first marriage lasted twenty-three years and we would often go several months without lovemaking.
In my second marriage, we just celebrated our eighth wedding anniversary. We are still in love and still appreciate each other.
People will ask what makes us so happy in our marriage and my wife says we each do more for each other than is expected. We appreciated the time together. It can be a walk together or dinner or just sitting and talking. That said we are always searching for ways to be more connected or how to make our marriage better.
